Nurturing Teens Through Eating Disorder Recovery: The Power of Parent Coaching
From Reclaiming Beauty Team Member, Carolyn McCarter Wood, LCSW, LCAS, CEDS
Teenage years are often marked by profound transitions and challenges. For many teens, these challenges include disordered eating and body and weight concerns. Some teens face these difficulties alone, particularly when their symptoms are hidden behind a “normal” size body or when they are praised for weight loss that makes them fit our culture’s thin ideal. Other teens may find their difficulties at the center of the family’s attention, often in spite of efforts to hide their symptoms.
In Nine Truths About Eating Disorders, the Academy for Eating Disorders states, “An eating disorder diagnosis is a health crisis that disrupts personal and family functioning.” Too often parents are left without guidance and feel guilty, helpless, and confused about how to help their teen. Parent Coaching is emerging as an important resource in helping teens and their families recover from the demands and disruption of an eating disorder.
Teen Eating Disorders:
We do not know the exact prevalence of disordered eating in teens. However, we have seen a rise in eating disorder diagnoses in children and teens since the start of the pandemic. Though eating disorders were long misunderstood as the rich thin white girl’s problem, the truth is that disordered eating and body concerns occur among all weights, all genders, all ethnic groups, and all ages. Regardless of how the sufferers look and what behaviors are involved, eating disorders are rooted in a complex interplay of genetic, sensory, psychological, and environmental factors. Parents do not “cause” eating disorders. In fact, parents can learn to be their teen’s most important allies in recovery. This is where Parent Coaching comes in.
The Role of Parent Coaching:
Parent coaching is not “family therapy,” with endless refrains of “And can you tell them how you felt about that?” (Apologies to the wonderful family therapists there—we know this is not what you do.) Parent coaching is present-focused and designed to help parents know what to do to help their child recover and how to do it even when their child seems determined to reject their efforts. Equipping parents with the necessary skills and strategies empowers them to become active agents of support and change.
Empowering Parents for Effective Support:
One of the core objectives of parent coaching is to empower parents to provide effective support to their struggling teens. This empowerment comes through education, communication techniques, and practical tools tailored to the unique needs of each family. From meal planning to navigating difficult conversations, parents learn how to foster a nurturing environment conducive to healing. With information, tools, and practice, parents are more effective at providing the boundaries and support their teen needs to recover.
Protecting the Therapeutic Relationship:
When an eating disorder therapist must act as both client confidante and parent coach, the teen may lose trust in the therapeutic relationship. When a separate parent coach guides the parents in managing eating disorder symptoms at home, the relationship between the therapist and the teen is protected, and the teen is much more likely to engage honestly in the therapeutic process. This is particularly true when the teen is still experiencing the eating disorder as a protector and friend. In fact, effective parent coaching does not need to involve the teen at all. This separation of services can be protective to both the parents and the teen. The coach can give honest feedback to parents without “making them look bad” in front of the teen, and the teen can be spared hearing advice from parents that is very upsetting to the part of them that engages in eating disorder behaviors.
Improving Family Dynamics:
Though the first aim of parent coaching is to help parents protect their teens from eating disorder behaviors, it may also improve overall family dynamics. Eating disorders strain relationships and exacerbate tensions within the household. Parents’ nervous systems may be stressed to the max. A threat to our child’s life and well-being may be experienced in our bodies as a threat to us, resulting in a fight, flight, or freeze response. (I tend to think of these responses as the bear, the bunny, or the opossum.) None of these states are the most effective when we are trying to foster our child’s felt sense of safety while helping them do things that are difficult and scary. Parent coaching can help parents learn to nurture and regulate their own nervous systems so they, in turn, can do the same for their struggling teen.
Realizing Lasting Eating Disorder Recovery:
The impact of parent coaching can extend far beyond the coaching sessions. Parent coaching can lay the foundation for sustainable, long-term recovery. As teens move through recovery, they tend to eventually appreciate feeling supported by their parents, even though in the early stages of recovery they may see the support as unwelcome and unhelpful. Teens who know they have a foundation of support tend to emerge stronger and more resilient. When setbacks or lapses happen, as they likely will, teens are much more likely to reach out to parents when they know they will be understood and met with confidence and competence.
Parenting Coaching: An Ally to Disorder Eating Therapy in Asheville, NC
In the battle against teen eating disorders, parent coaching is a powerful ally, offering support, guidance, and hope to families navigating these challenging times. It contributes to an integrative approach to eating disorder therapy, helping to foster lasting recovery and transformation. Parent coaching respects the essential nature of the parents’ role on the treatment team, making recovery at home a safer and more feasible option for many.
Getting Started with a North Carolina Eating Disorder Therapist
If you're a parent supporting your teen through eating disorder recovery, we're here to help. Our eating disorder therapy offers tailored support, guidance, and practical tools to empower your teen's journey to recovery. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward creating a nurturing environment for lasting healing for your teen. Let's work together to build a foundation of support that lasts a lifetime.
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Other Services We Offer in Addition to Eating Disorder Therapy
Explore our range of services designed to promote well-being at Reclaiming Beauty! We offer embodiment coaching, which guides you on a journey of self-discovery, fostering self-compassion and building resilience from within. Alternatively, experience the transformative effects of the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), a non-invasive auditory intervention designed to calm your nervous system and alleviate stress.
