Towards a More Wild and Free Relationship with Your Body as You Age
I spent February of 2021 in bed recovering from a hysterectomy. I did ALL the things before coming to this decision: acupuncture, herbs, yoga for healing, hormone healing, functional medicine, supplements, dietary changes, saunas, cold plunges, Wim Hof breathing, somatic therapy, ceremonies… My uterus and I just came to a point where it was time to part ways. Through the process of addressing my reproductive issues, as well as healing after the hysterectomy, I became very aware of all the ways women are marketed to at this time of life for weight loss, anti-aging, avoiding the menopausal weight gain, and on and on. I struggled to find messaging that was weight-inclusive as I worked to heal. I no longer had the patience for the ways diet culture was attempting to shame me for the natural way women’s bodies shift and change at this stage of life. The message seemed to be to hold on to youth, rather than embrace the shifts and changes of this transition. As a disordered eating therapist, I desired an invitation through the portal toward a more wild and freer relationship with my body and myself through midlife and beyond.
Midlife Radiance: Empowering Intersectionality & Overcoming Ageism in Disordered Eating
At this stage of midlife and beyond, the system of oppression that we are coming into contact with is ageism. Ageism refers to the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel), and discrimination (how we act) towards others or oneself as we age. Ageism is heightened if we have other intersecting marginalized identities like race, size, lower economic status, disability, and various gender and sexual orientation identities among others.
Midlife and beyond is an exciting time because we can start to see these systems of oppression and control for what they are. As Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth states, “A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.” If we are focused on maintaining a certain appearance standard, we have less access to the wisdom and power inside of us to make an impact on this world.
Igniting Change: Thoughts as a Disordered Eating Therapist in Asheville, NC
Anger is an appropriate response to this situation. Perhaps even “hot” flashes are a part of this angry meltdown necessary for change. We might experience anger as a mobilizing energy. We no longer want to be told what to look like or how to be to be worthy and we are ready to act on this desire for change. We understand that true belonging is possible as we move away from diet culture’s rules.
In this manner, several of my clients had similar responses to the images of Martha Stewart on the cover of Sports Illustrated or Dolly Parton performing in a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit. Don’t get me wrong, I love Dolly for so many reasons - and we can celebrate their body autonomy and their self-expression for themselves. However, there is some harm caused by centering these images of aging. The unspoken message is that women should continue to strive and hustle to stay as aligned with the youthful, thin ideal as possible in order to maintain their relevance. But Martha & Dolly have access to procedures, products, and time due to their financial and white privilege that most women do not have. We want to see more wild and free images of women aging. Anger supports a declaration process of what we are no longer willing to accept.
Here are some ideas that may be supportive as you nurture a wild and free relationship with your body as you age:
1. Cultivate Self-Love:
Begin by embracing your body with unconditional love. If unconditional love feels hard to access, then back up another step and start with body neutrality. Celebrate the journey on which your body has taken you and the stories etched in every line, wrinkle, and scar. Shift the narrative from self-criticism to self-compassion, recognizing the beauty in each phase of life.
2. Stay Embodied, Stay Wild:
Engage in activities that spark joy and keep you connected to your body. Whether it's dance parties under the stars, hiking through nature, or practicing yoga at sunrise, find movement that aligns with your spirit. Embodied movement not only promotes physical well-being but also nurtures a sense of liberation.
3. Attuned and Gentle Nutrition:
Feed your body with love and nourishment. Embrace a balanced and attuned approach to nutrition, focusing on foods that deeply nourish, energize, and uplift. Listen to your body's cues and respond to them accordingly, savoring the pleasures of a diverse and colorful diet.
4. Redefine Beauty Standards:
Challenge conventional beauty standards that often perpetuate unrealistic ideals. Embrace the uniqueness of your body and appreciate the wisdom it carries. Recognize that beauty transcends age, and authenticity is the true essence of magnetism.
5. Explore Sensuality:
Reconnect with your sensuality and explore the depths of pleasure. Pleasure isn't confined to romantic relationships but extends to self-love and self-discovery. Rediscover the sensual aspects of your body, fostering a connection that goes beyond societal expectations.
6. Mind-Body Connection:
Nurture a strong mind-body connection through practices like meditation, breathwork, mindfulness, and embodiment practices. Acknowledge the power of your thoughts in shaping your perception of your body. Support your nervous system to land in a safe and connected space more often and notice how this process impacts your thoughts about your body. More regulation supports living from the inside out in a state of flow versus stuck in preoccupation about how we appear to others.
7. Community and Support:
Surround yourself with a community that uplifts and supports your journey. Share experiences, wisdom, and laughter with those who appreciate the beauty of a life well-lived. Find a safe place to express your body's grief and your anger at the systems of oppression. Build relationships with people who can reflect your authentic, True Self-beauty.
Here’s to a more wild and free relationship with our bodies as we age.
Get Started With Midlife Disordered Eating Therapy in Asheville, NC Today
Join us at Reclaiming Beauty as we start a journey toward embracing a more wild and free relationship with our bodies as we age. Our disordered eating therapists stand ready to support you in reclaiming your innate beauty, authenticity, and vitality at every stage of life. Follow these few steps to get started:
Contact us so we can get to know you better.
Learn more about our approach!
Explore everything that midlife has to offer while feeling freer & wild!
Other Services We Offer in Asheville, NC
Discover a holistic approach to well-being at Reclaiming Beauty. Our personalized embodiment coaching unlocks the wisdom within, fostering self-compassion and resilience. Or, explore the transformative benefits of the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP). This is a non-invasive auditory intervention that enhances social engagement and reduces stress.
