Caution to the reader: This is a long, obnoxious post all about my process, but hey, it’s my birthday! so indulge me, if you please…
Throughout my life I have had several recurring dreams. One takes place in Quail Hollow, the neighborhood where I spent my early childhood. Godzilla is headed north on Woodcock Way towards my street, Egret Court, and in order to be safe from the monster I must stay in the shadows. But there’s one problem. I am at my friend Tara Ireland’s house and have to run through the light to get across the street to my home. Another takes place in a shadowy version of our house on Egret Court. I am walking up a dimly lit staircase towards a third level of the house that in reality only had two stories. When I get to this attic space, I open the door and I see a mostly empty room with a very large vulture staring at me eye to eye. For some reason the image of this vulture still frightens me when I think back on the dream.
Recurring dreams are fascinating to me, so needless to say when I recently had a revised version of an old familiar dream I was very curious. The dream goes like this… I am walking through a very large house. It starts off with rooms full of innocent scenes of life. However, as I move deeper into the house, the rooms are filled with scenes of a darker and darker side of human nature. The dream is obviously representing the innocence lost from growing up in a more sheltered environment to then being exposed to the horrible ways people can treat one another in the real world.
In the final scene of the dream I am about to escape this horror house, but suddenly demons begin to surround me from every direction. I know if I can stay calm and keep my eyes open while these demons are surrounding me, I will be safe and able to escape. However, in the past dreaming of the dream, I would always panic, close my eyes and get dragged to hell.
But not this time! In this most recent dreaming of the dream, as the demons began to close in on me, I remembered I had a new skill… I could keep my eyes open, focus on my breath, and breath in and out in as even of a rhythm as possible, just like I have been practicing in the Bikram yoga hot torture chamber. I kept my breath steady, my eyes open, my panic at bay, and soon the demons backed away and disappeared. I then walked out of the horror house for the first time.
I feel there is a tremendous amount of significance in this new ending as today I move into my Death/Rebirth year. The Death/Rebirth year is not one to be feared. It is a year of releasing that which no longer serves you to make space for a rebirth. It is shedding your old skin to set the scene for a transformation. It is the letting go and surrender of preconceived notions, expectations, and limiting beliefs that must happen before a person can reclaim their true beauty.
This dream reminds me that I now have the POWER to stand strong in the face of my demons… my worst fears, my most raw vulnerabilities, my limiting beliefs about myself. What is ready to release, I will let go. What is ready to transform, I will transform. And step forward from the horror house into my Rebirth.
This process takes courage. CHECK.
This process takes grieving. CHECK.
This process takes support. CHECK.
It is truly a Reclaiming Beauty process.
Inhale… Exhale…Repeat…and keep your eyes open!
During this Death/Rebirth year I plan to write a book about reclaiming beauty. I am also collaborating with a dear friend, Leah Joy, to create a deck of Reclaiming Beauty Mandala Cards to accompany this book. It is so exciting to focus on creativity as I move through this Death/Rebirth year!
As I said, one needs support during this growth cycle year. So I have a REQUEST: My support request is that all of the Reclaiming Beauty readers get inspired to contribute to the blog! I feel the conversation will be enriched with a wider range of voices sharing their reclaiming beauty experiences. This will allow me to focus on getting the book in my mind down on paper rather than the scheduled weekly posts. So please check out the Skills and see if you are inspired to share anything… writing, artwork, poetry, music, youtube videos. I will look forward to hearing more from the current beloved contributors as well as hear from some new voices. Please send me an email if you have any questions about contributing at email@example.com
Thanks for your support and I look forward to your Reclaiming Beauty contributions.
To rebirthing beauty!
Tarot Note: If you are interested in learning more about your tarot PERSONALITY/SOUL symbols and your current GROWTH CYCLE YEAR, send me an email. I am currently offering tarot readings that will include this information on a sliding scale.