Recently, I had a night out with my dear friend, Rebecca, to see Chris Isaak at the Orange Peel. My familiarity with Chris Isaak was limited to his album Heart-Shaped World and mostly his sexy crooning “Oh, I wanna fall in love” on his most well-known tune, Wicked Game. I had no idea that he was the rockabilly God he proved himself to be. Rebecca and I danced the night away under the breeze of the Orange Peel’s gigantic ceiling fan. After the show, basking in the music and dancing afterglow, I realized I hadn’t felt more myself in a very long time.
I was reminded of a piece of writing from 1999, my first year living in California:
I want to move like there is no yesterday. I want to hear the boom boom boom of the deepest drum and feel my butt grow big and shake it. I want to move this heaviness right off my bones. I want to hear the 3-part la-la-la singing ‘Take me to heaven!’ and let it lift this heaviness right out of the swamp. I want to laugh and smile and shout for joy with the lightness of life that it’s been a while since I’ve felt. Oh, I feel the sugar, and I feel the itch and I feel the oily skin and the big breasts and full belly but who cares when you are so light and moving to the boom boom boom. And I’ll grab that boy and give him a big kiss and sing ‘Take me to heaven!’ or maybe I’ll just smile to myself that I had that thought, but I’ll be living and I’ll be moving and no heaviness will be known… that gravity person, no friend of mine. Maybe it’ll be a New Orleans zydeco man singin’ ‘We all went down to the Audubon Zoo’ and the little 2-step will be shaking me up. Maybe it’ll be the rickety-rack of that old washboard and accordion, with those long-haired hippies shaking their shoulders up and down. Or maybe there’ll be no music at all, it won’t matter, cuz I’ll be moving and I’ll be dancing in defense of my lightness.
When I feel most disconnected from myself, when I feel depressed by life, when I feel heavy and weighted down, these are the times when my energy is the most stagnant. As my friend and creative mentor, Heather Bleasdell, says, “Healthy energy is moving energy.” It is essential for me to get my energy moving, to clear the accumulation of emotion and mental head tripping, as well as the emotion of others that I may inadvertently take on in my work as a therapist. And my favorite ways for moving my energy over the years? Well, that’s easy… music, yoga and running.
This summer, in response to this reawakened awareness of the need to clear the stagnation, I have joined a women’s running group. My favorite local trainer, Marty Harwood-Edes of Crave Change, who is on a mission to empower women on their fitness and health journeys, has partnered with another trainer, Tera Pruett, to sponsor this group running experience. I have joined with the intention of training for my Ramblin’ Rose 2011 event goal, the Half Marathon in Durham, October 16th. (You can read about my Ramblin’ Rose 2010 experience here.)
One of the recommendations in the training process is to tell people about the goal you are working towards, so that is what I am doing here. With the intention of getting my energy flowing, and in defense of my lightness, I will be training for the Ramblin’ Rose Half Marathon in October.
That, and getting down at some more music shows with Rebecca, of course.
What do you do in defense of your lightness? Leave a comment if you feel inspired.
* Note: Many of my clients struggle with compulsive overexercise. In this blogpost, I am not endorsing this behavior, rather promoting a healthy exercise balance. If you feel you struggle with compulsive overexercise, please seek professional help. A helpful resource is the book: The Exercise Balance: What’s Too Much, What’s Too Little, and What’s Just Right For You! by Pauline Powers.
