Category Archives: My Beauty Walk

You Don’t Have To Try So Hard


Ooooooohhh… I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had in the past year to teach a body image class to middle school girls. Middle school… these two words carry so much collective PTSD for many of us grown up women. It is a potent time to get the message across that body image = self-image, and to teach the skill to notice if your body image is crappy, and if so, ask yourself “How can I build up my relationship with myself?”

A tool I love to use in this group is bringing in songs and lyrics that carry a Reclaiming Beauty themed message. Earlier in the summer, when a dear friend shared Colbie Caillat’s song and video Try with me, I immediately brought it in to my body image class. I sat with tears streaming down my face, feeling honored to share this message with these beautiful girls. After listening to the song and viewing the video, the girls were fully engaged in a meaningful discussion about what they noticed. The curly haired girl was naturally straight… and the straight haired girl was naturally curly… and wasn’t the older women so beautiful… and how brave was the women who had no hair! They talked about all the messages they received about what they had to do and ways they felt they had to be in order to be liked, to be approved of, to be beautiful. They talked a lot about what they heard and observed from their mothers about these same messages. Then we talked all about the beauty of our natural selves.

The beauty of our natural selves is a topic I never grow tired of. We don’t have to try so hard!

Enjoy the song and the message, and then join the conversation.

In the comments below, name one thing you are willing to let go of today that you may be trying too hard to be or do in order to walk a little more naturally in your beauty.

Walk in beauty,

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Useful Desires


About one year after I left my marriage I was travelling down the road listening to an old favorite CD, Patty Griffin’s Impossible Dream. As track 5, Useless Desires, began to play over the stereo, the tears began to fall. I pulled over and released one of those cleansing, gut wrenching sobs. This song that I had listened to many, many times before had taken on new meaning as I pondered what at the time felt like useless desires that led me to leave my marriage. In moments of doubt about my decision, I would think to myself, “if only I had been more spiritual and less attached to having my longings, desires and needs met, then maybe I could have stayed and made it work.” In those moments, I would curse those useless desires.

But in the stronger moments, I would remind myself of the brave and courageous woman I was, to stand alone with the hope that a more satisfying relationship was possible.

The past two years I have poured myself into writing and creating from my experience, and have saved on my computer a complete and edited draft to accompany my Reclaiming Beauty Wisdom Deck. I am fueled by the dream to produce this deck and ignite a women’s movement, but again find myself overwhelmed with my desire.

Struggling with my desires, I found myself drawn to Danielle LaPorte’s latest book The Desire Map: a guide to creating goals with soul. I am grateful for this author and her philosophy about the importance of our desires. In her book, she explains that focusing on how we want to feel can create a life that we love. However, we still must remain unattached to the outcome as we focus on the feelings we desire as our guide.

Working through the book, I generated the following list of my Core Desired Feelings:












So as I ponder the next steps for my book and my business, I plan to focus on these feelings… Business Planning? Kickstarter? GoFundMe? IndieGoGo? Business Loan? Self-Publish? Finding a Literary Agent? Who to partner with to pilot the program? I’ll focus on JOY and go from there.

And when a wave of sadness washes over my heart, grieving the losses that came from moving toward my desire, I will remember this wisdom from my dear friend, Shelley:

Think of all you said YES to, when you said NO.

Join the conversation:

In the comments below, please share your relationship to your desires.

What core desired feelings are leading your way?

In honor of useful desires.

Walk in beauty,

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20th High School Reunion – Reclaiming Beauty Style



I know it’s been eerily quiet on the blog this Fall. This silence has been partly related to being in the final stages of my divorce process – an experience that has felt sacred and personal and not ready for sharing with the world. Another reason has been a renewed commitment to complete my Reclaiming Beauty Wisdom Card Deck. This fall I hired a writing coach/editor and swore off all dating until I completed my rough draft. This decision proved to be the best motivator ever –  3,750 more words to go before I will date again and widdling away fast!

Tonight, though, I must take a break from rough draft writing to share my experience going to my 20th high school reunion last weekend.

Here are the Cliff notes:

I had some trepidation about attending my high school reunion solo with my current bio of divorced single parent. My two closet friends who had planned to attend cancelled at the last minute, which almost led me to chicken out. The day of the reunion I shared my anxiety on facebook and received some much needed encouragement from friends, old and new.

My main objective was to feel good about myself and my life just how it is, and to see and love old friends for their life just how they are. I guess I also wanted to walk confidently and radiate at 38.

I borrowed a black dress and black boots from my older sister for the evening. I told her I was nervous wearing the short black dress, since it showed off the small patch of psoriasis on my right knee. She said my legs were my best asset, I better show them off, and if anybody noticed the psoriasis then I was’t wearing the right bra. She warned me the zipper on the right boot often got stuck.

I went to Food Lion one hour before the party and bought black eyeliner, mascara and some mousse for my wavy hair. I was very satisfied with my party face and wild mane of hair. I felt good in my skin despite the inevitable changes of 20 years. I was ready for my 20th high school reunion, reclaiming beauty style.

I loved seeing all the old, familiar faces. I practiced using my Soul Vision superpower – seeing my peers for their true Self rather than physical appearance. Most people still looked pretty damn good and had much Soul beauty going on. I had several authentic encounters and conversations that were very meaningful to me.

I chatted with a friend who was at the beginning of a divorce process, and offered her some words of encouragement.

I chatted with a friend who I used to sing with, and had to stop myself from showering him with hugs and kisses. My heart was bursting with happiness to see him again. We both wished we had brought a guitar to the reunion.

I chatted with old friends from my high school soccer team. One teammate, in particular, I wished I could transport to Asheville so we could be close friends during this stage of life.

I chatted with a friend who had been keeping up with my blog and was touched by the ways she related to my sharing.

I chatted with two old lovers – one that did not seem interested in me at all, another who I was clearly more interested in, and that was okay.

A man who was my high school love’s best friend snapped a picture of me and immediately texted it to my high school love. We received a quick, underwhelming response – ‘Whoa!’ – and chuckled about it.

I delighted in other people’s remembrances of me, including a man from my high school physics class who remembered me being able to identify notes played by our teacher by ear.

I loved meeting the significant others of some old friends.

I spent a sacred moment looking at the list of classmates who are no longer walking on the Earth.

I only talked about my divorce with a few people. I talked about my son, Joey, to everyone.

I asked a lot of questions and fed my curiosity.

I got one picture to remember the occasion, the picture above. I don’t think I talked to my picture mate once in high school, but he was interesting – living in Austin – and had great hair.

There were a lot of people who I wished had been there.

I didn’t drink too much and danced just enough. At the end of the evening, I had only one tear of aloneness in my eye. My single tear-stained eye quickly dried when I returned to my parent’s house and saw my sweet, four year old son, Joey, tucked into bed. I kissed him on the forehead and gave thanks for the blessing I received from my marriage. Just like my older sister warned me, the zipper stuck on one of the borrowed black boots. I fell asleep cracking up at myself in a t-shirt and underwear, with one boot still on.

2oth high school reunion, Reclaiming Beauty style.

I will go back for my 25th, and I hope more Tigers from the Chapel Hill High School class of 1993 will join me.

I would love to hear other people’s experiences of returning to high school reunions. Seems like the perfect testing ground for a Reclaiming Beauty Queen. If you feel inspired, please share in the comments below!

Peace out, my friends, I got some book writing to get back to… I don’t want to be single forever…

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The Importance of A Tribe


In March, I went to Vegas for the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals conference. I wish I could say it was a blast. I have been having reoccurring nightmares this year about defending my son and myself against an onslaught of tidal waves. Unfortunately, the tidal waves hit me hard far away from my everyday life, which made for a challenging trip. Getting divorced SUCKS, even if it seems to be for the best. So many losses are involved. So much to grieve. I still remember how I felt when I fell in love with my future ex-husband. It was electric and unbelievable. I saw a vision of our future in his eyes – the home, the family, the life we would build together. I know someday I will be happy for that memory. Right now it is down right painful. I just made a list of the things that infuriate me about him so when that longing hits, I have ammo.

The Vegas trip ended on a positive note, though. I went to see LOVE at the Mirage, the Cirque du Soleil show based on the music of the Beatles. It was breathtaking. And I spent the night at the tattoo shop of a friend of a friend, Sikink Studios Tattoo. I couldn’t come home from Vegas saying I spent the night in a tattoo shop and didn’t get a tattoo… So… at 37, separated and mother of a 3 and 1/2 year old… I got my first tattoo – the Kanji symbols for STRENGTH and BEAUTY.

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It seems like one of the mot fun parts about getting a tattoo is telling people you did it. I knew most everyone I told would be excited for me, everyone that is except for my sweet, sweet mama. My Mom has never been a fan of piercings or tattoos. When my little sister, Becky, got her belly buttoned pierced in college, my poor Mom had such a struggle. She lamented, “You were such a beautiful baby!”

I was debating when to tell my Mom and Dad about my tattoo because I didn’t want them to worry that I had an emotional breakdown in Vegas and got manic and impulsive. My sisters, however, really, really, really wanted me to tell them as soon as I drove up to our most recent family gathering. It seemed a little strange that they were encouraging me so earnestly, but I just went with it.

My Mom and Dad were sitting out on my sister Katie’s front porch in Charlotte. My Dad was in the rocking chair, and I joined my Mom on the porch swing. I swiftly let out my confession: “Mom and Dad, I want to show you something. I got a tattoo when I was in Vegas.” I pulled up my sleeve and unveiled the still healing tattoo. My Mom looked a little shocked, but not as shocked as with what happened next.

My sister, Katie, unveiled her own “tattoo.” I’ll tell the rest of this story in pictures:

Katie: Strength, Beauty & High Heeled Shoes

Katie: Strength, Beauty & High Heeled Shoes

Becky: Strength, Beauty & Soccer Ball

Becky: Strength, Beauty & Soccer Ball



Matthew: All tatted up!

Solon: Yoda, Soccer Ball, Lips & Captain America

Solon: Yoda, Soccer Ball, Lips & Captain America

Levi: Heart

Levi: Heart

Mark: Mom

Mark: Mom

Brian: Sexy Beast

Brian: Sexy Beast

My Dad: I heart Chris

My Dad: I Love Chris

My Mom: Over her shock and smiling with relief that we actually didn't ALL get new tattoos

My Mom: Over her shock, a smile of relief that we actually didn’t ALL get new tattoos

This story is one of the many examples of how my family has rallied around me during this challenging Death/Rebirth year. The Reclaiming Beauty journey is no easy task. It is so important to immerse yourself in the love of your tribe when you can. I know I am extremely lucky to have found my tribe in my family of origin. For many, this tribe must be created through a family of choice. Whatever it is for you, never underestimate the importance of a tribe. Go soak up some love from yours RIGHT NOW. If you don’t have one, take one step towards developing some heart line connections. You never know how they will surprise you with their love. Mine got all tatted up to show their support for me.

Tattoo stories are amazing Reclaiming Beauty stories. Please consider contributing to the blog by sharing the story of how your tattoo symbolizes your Reclaiming Beauty journey. I just added “Tattoos” as a Category for the blog. Check out the other tagged Tattoo posts on the blog and then send your story in for us all to enjoy.

Looking forward to reading your Tattoo contributions!

With love from a virtual member of your tribe,

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Image: Leah Joy Numair


Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys

the_perks_of_being_a_wallflower_quote_7On Friday I saw the most amazing movie, The Perks of Being A Wallflower. It’s the kind of movie where you want to have long conversations about the themes with everyone you know, and you notice its impact sinking in on deeper and deeper levels over the following days. In the movie, the main character, Charlie, a freshmen in high school who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, befriends a group of seniors who are artsy, quirky and outside of the mainstream. These friends also have their share of challenging life circumstances including abuse history, kleptomania, and sexuality/identity exploration. They bond in their approach to coping with the intense world we live in. In the scene where Charlie first meets the colorful characters that will become his friends, Sam, the woman he will inevitably fall in love with, says to him, “Welcome to the island of misfit toys.”

I am a misfit toy, like many of the clients I work with. People often ask me, “Are you in recovery from an eating disorder?” The true answer is – no. However, I know what is like to try to use food to avoid/cope with the pain of life. Although my attempts never developed into a full-blown eating disorder, I have sought solace in the Chik-fil-A drive thru and many, many, many pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.

People often ask me, “Are you a survivor of sexual abuse?” The true answer is – no. However, I know the pain of being viewed as an object, not a subject. I have struggled with defining my worth only in my ability to be sexually attractive because of a misguided understanding of a woman’s power.

People are often surprised to learn that I have struggled with very dark times in my life, even feeling hopeless to the point of passive suicidality in my mid twenties. My brain chemistry borders on the bipolar spectrum, and I can experience high highs and low lows. I have been through the darkness and that is why I am in touch with the beauty of my light. I know what it is like to struggle with depression, hopelessness and wishing to be anything else but who I am.

At my core is an emotional, sensitive, intuitive, passionate, creative spirit that is often overwhelmed by the pain of the world. When I was younger, I learned from society that these aspects of myself were weak and not valuable, and so I learned to see myself as weak and without value. These are similar challenges to people struggling with eating disorders and/or an abuse history. Growing up with abuse causes a person to develop sensitivity and hypervigilance in order to survive the situation they are living in. This sensitivity can be so overwhelming in the wide, open world, that many people turn to addictive processes to numb and cope. It is a very scary process to learn to be in the world with one’s sensitive and open heart. Those of us with these qualities learn to judge ourselves, and our inner critic can become the biggest obstacle for healing.

Through my reclaiming beauty journey, I learned to embrace these traits that felt like my greatest weaknesses as my greatest strengths. I use these parts of myself every day to help liberate the women I work with from the shame, criticism and limiting belief systems that rob them of their power. I want to see their brilliant beauty set free, so the world can benefit from the gorgeous human beings I see beneath their struggles.

The last week of February is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. (February 24th – March 2nd) An eating disorder awareness organization I support, Project HEAL, encouraged people on their North Carolina chapter facebook page to create a photo with either “I choose to heal because…” or “I support healing because…” I wanted to join in this campaign, because although I have never had an eating disorder, I am a misfit toy. I know that through self-compassion, people who struggle with eating disorders can heal and free their beautiful selves to help heal the world. This world needs misfit toys. I believe we misfit toys are the answer. I support healing because beneath every eating disorder is a strong, intelligent, beautiful, compassionate, intuitive, creative, powerful person whose gifts can save the world.

Ways to get involved in National Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2013:

+ Events sponsored by THE Center for Disordered Eating in Asheville

+ Life is Short, Eat Dessert First, 3rd Annual Project HEAL Benefit in Wilmington, NC, March 1st

+ Through the National Eating Disorder Association: Learn, Find Help, Get Involved

Support the misfit toys.

With love,

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ps… Thursday, February 21st is the Embrace the Fabulous You conference for the Frenzied Female! It is not too late to sign-up. I would love to see you there!

I support healing

Why February is going to be Awesome!


I love the word awesome. In fact, I think it just might be my favorite word. When my three year old son, Joey, says it, I can’t stop smiling for hours.

This February is going to be AWESOME. And here is why:

+ Reclaiming Beauty Playshop officially begins! Join us!

+ On Thursday February 21st I will be speaking about Reclaiming Beauty and joining some other amazing women at the Embrace the Fabulous You Conference for the Frenzied Female in Hendersonville. Join us!

+ T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating in Asheville is sponsoring some amazing events for National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAW) February 24th – March 2nd. Stay tuned on their facebook page for updates. One event I am particularly excited about is a Befriending Our Bodies Yoga series they are offering in partnership with the Asheville Yoga Center. Awesome!

+ I am participating in a 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge as part of my personal Reclaiming Beauty process. I’ll be posting daily about the experience on the Reclaiming Beauty facebook page. Hopefully by the end I will be feeling totally awesome.

+ Last but not least… February is the monthly home of Valentine’s Day. I have the best Valentine this year in my son, Joey. In the words of Sarah McLachlan, the love of my three year old is ‘better than ice cream.’ And as I continue to cultivate a loving relationship with the parts inside of me that are all messed up from this Death/Rebirth year, I just might find myself looking into the mirror that day and breaking out into song… “Girl, you are wicked AWESOME!”

Now it’s your turn… what is going to be AWESOME about February in your Reclaiming Beauty journey? Tell me in the comments below.

Stay awesome,

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It’s my pleasure to serve you


I spent the past week fighting off the flu. I wasn’t sure if I was depressed or sick, but I tried to stay curious and not freak. Monday and Tuesday night I was in bed by 7. Wednesday I made it to yoga, which felt good and probably got me through Thursday, but Thursday night I was achy all over, chilled and feeling down. Friday morning I woke up and it felt like the flu had taken me hostage. I sent Joey off for his weekend with his Dad, and planned on laying in bed and feeling sorry for myself the rest of the weekend.

Enter an angel in disguise as my cleaning lady, Jackie Tripp. I LOVE this woman. I pay her every other week to come and clean my house. Besides my monthly yoga studio membership, it is my favorite expense. She studied herbalism and infuses her cleaning with aromatherapy and love. She also has healing energy. She came over Friday and gave me an idea for how to kick the flu. I decided to get my butt out of bed and take a ride to Greenlife to gather the necessary provisions.

Who would have thought that on the way to Greenlife, with almost no appetite from the flu, my car would find a way to the Chik-fil-A drive-thru?

Those of you who know me well know my stories about Chik-fil-A. Despite my strong convictions against their policies, it is part of my life rituals to pass through their drive-thru at least once a week for a Number One with Lemonade. I have been doing this for years. I realized after my son was born, when for a brief period I made a daily trip to Chik-fil-A, that the draw was one simple factor… their consistent practice of responding after you order, “It will be my pleasure to serve you at the window.”

I mean come on… I am a mama, and a therapist, and was in a marriage where I was working hard to keep it mutually fulfilling but was not getting much of what I needed. My life was and is about serving others. But where was I getting my needs met? Apparently, at the Chick-fil-A drive thru!

On Friday, after enjoying my Number One with Lemonade, I decided I was going to try a new approach to being sick. I am so hard on myself when I am sick – and lately it painfully highlights my feelings of loneliness. But somewhere between Chick-fil-A and Greenlife, I made a pact with myself. As I nurtured myself back to health, I would keep the mantra in mind… “It is my pleasure to serve me.”

I left Greenlife with the herbal remedy, bubble bath, a new Positive Energy candle, Yogi Tea for Relaxation sampler, a kombucha, Lemon Ginger Soother, Olba’s Oil for congestion and all of the ingredients to make myself an Immune Power Soup with my homemade chicken broth. It was my pleasure to serve me.

I followed my angel, Jackie’s, herbal remedy, nurtured myself like I was my own daughter, took three hot baths, slept most of the day and woke up Saturday feeling able to face the world again. It was my pleasure to serve me.

I feel as if I have passed a test in this Death/Rebirth year… fall back into old patterns of feeling sorry for myself, or find the strength within myself to practice what I preach. You know the answer… It was my pleasure to serve me.


Serving myself provides me more energy to serve YOU! I am excited for the new opportunities available for me to serve you in 2013:

+ In February I will start an open Reclaiming Beauty Playshop. All are welcome! Please contact me if you are interested in getting involved in a Circle of Women who are ready to make a dramatic shift in their Self relationship.

+ I am now available for Reclaiming Beauty Coaching Sessions! These can be in person, on the phone or via Skype.

+ Interested in your Tarot Profile? Reclaiming Beauty Tarot Profiles and Tarot Readings are now available.

It will be my pleasure to serve you, at the window, and beyond.

Much love,

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Image: Katie Daisy 


I’m Down for a Sweet Ride

Happy New Year from Reclaiming Beauty!

Here’s to a New Year of creating even more beauty in the world. I look forward to continuing this journey with you as Reclaiming Beauty expands and unfolds in 2013.

My theme song for this upcoming year: Sweet Ride by Tanya Donelly. I recorded this song in 1999 with my band, Maya Rides Away. This song is my dream, my intention, my prayer for 2013. I’m gonna make this Reclaiming Beauty journey a sweet ride. The image in the video was a meaningful Solstice present to me from my two sisters about how our love for one another keeps us found.

In the comments below, please share your Reclaiming Beauty theme song for 2013. Please include a video link if you are able.

~Love ~Love ~Love ~

Walk in beauty in 2013,

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It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)



I freaking love this picture from a Blue Ridge Rollergirls roller derby bout this summer. The facial expressions on the fans perfectly capture what it feels like when you take a life wipeout in the public eye. At times during this Death/Rebirth year, I have experienced similar expressions on the people in my life. Sure, this year has been rough, but as it is winding down I am starting to realize – it’s the end of the world as I know it, and I feel fine.

Feeling overwhelmed by all the loss in 2012 has recently transformed into gratitude for the opportunity to let go and release. I make it my intention every moment to let go and release all of the stories I have made up in my head about why I am unloveable. These stories rob me of my power and become obstacles to doing the work I want to do in the world. This reclaiming beauty process involves tremendous inner vigilance to let go of that which no longer serves us.

I practice awareness of Death/Rebirth in my yoga class; every Savasana, Sanskrit word for corpse pose, an opportunity to let go – every breath an opportunity to let go through the exhale, than welcome rebirth through the inhale.

I am ready for the Rebirth part of this Death/Rebirth year… and what a perfect time to set that intention as the feared end of days: December 21, 2012… Of course this “end of days” refers to a shift in consciousness – and as for me I say, “Bring it on!” Get me out of my old consciousness – it is making me insane.

In the space before the Rebirth, preparing for my personal shift in consciousness, it is my intention to practice trusting the process of life. I made a request to friends for resources to help with this practice. I am sharing them with you here in case trusting the process of life is also part of the shift in consciousness you are seeking. (Trusting the process of life book club, anyone?)

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Expecting Adam: a True Story of Birth, Rebirth and Everyday Magic by Martha Beck

Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up by James Hollis

Matthew 6: 25-34

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

The Gospel according to Matthew

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

The Tao of Inner Peace by Diane Dreher

The Tao Te Ching of Lao Tzu

This Is Not the Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness by Laura Munson

Until Today by Iyanla Vanzant

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

Now it’s your turn. In the comments below, please share:

+ One belief you are ready to sacrifice to the end of days and

+ One resource that helps you trust the process of life

I will benefit greatly from your comments on this one. It is so helpful to not feel alone in the breaking down.

Love you all,


Click here for some fun information on the End of the World, 12-21-12, from Build Altars.

And I know this song is in your head now, too…

It won’t suck like this forever

The very best piece of encouragement I have received during this Death/Rebirth year came from my sister, Katie:

It won’t suck like this forever.

As we walk our reclaiming beauty journey, so many of us try to avoid working through the feelings in front of us with addictive behaviors. We fear that the feelings will never go away, that we will be engulfed by them, that they will drown us. In actuality, it is the addictive behaviors themselves that keep us stuck as we cycle over and over with the feelings arising, panicking, then engaging in the same old behaviors to avoid suffering. The avoidance of suffering, however, just creates more suffering. Funny how that works…

For me, November turned out to be a very ungraceful attempt at avoiding the grief and anger of this Death/Rebirth year. I’ll just say, yes, I do think OkCupid can become a process addiction! I am happy to report that with my sisters’ love, concern and Thanksgiving intervention, I am off that site and back to the work of facing my feelings. I pulled up my big girl panties to bravely face the next wave of emotion in this process.

The holiday season seems to make all of the triggers even more intense. We Reclaiming Beauty Queens must recommit to our intention to move through the feelings from a place of strength, power and courage. Here are a few other resources for feeling the feelings to get to the other side:

+ Speak to yourself with kindness and love. Use these Affirmations for Use Anytime (last track) by Belleruth Naparstek for brief, positive statements to focus your mind on healing and moving forward rather than catastrophizing or getting stuck in self-criticism

+ Practice radical acts of self-love. Everyday, practice even one small act of wellness. Write down what you do. Every act of self-love is healing.

+ Practice radical acts of self-compassion. If you start getting caught in shame or negative self-talk, explore these resources for Self-Compassion.

+ Release your grip on your head trip. Allow yourself to simply feel the feelings while letting go of the story you tell yourself about the feelings. Because I struggle with incessant head-tripping, I have been practicing this skill in yoga class by focusing my mind on one statement when feelings arise: “Be gentle with yourself.” It is amazing how many tears have moved through my body during yoga lately as I am giving my feelings permission to just flow through me.

+ Use the feelings to deepen self-knowledge. Like Rumi suggests in the wise poem The Guest House, welcome each feeling, being curious about the messages they want you to receive from inside your heart. Hint: The messages are most likely alerting you to some unmet need. Be curious about what that need might be. Journal to explore.

+ Feel your connection to all women facing transition. Check out this post from the website It is so beautiful and inspiring: Staggering the Liminal Spaces {A Love Letter to Women in Transition}

Now it’s your turn to share your strategies. In the comments below, please tell us what skills you use to flow with the feelings to get to the other side. 

I’ll look forward to hearing your ideas and practicing them as I move through the holiday season of a Death/Rebirth year.

I love you all,


Image: Kathryn Andersen, Reclaiming Beauty Queen extraordinaire